In case you missed my previous post also entitled
A Lifetime of Special People, h
it this link so you get the idea of what these posts are for:
Big D and I don't mean Dallas
I had initially planned on waiting until
next January to post about this particular person for several reasons. One being that this person happens to be D's brother and I was afraid that posting J's right after D's would look as if I'm building a small shrine internet style to the family. ;o)
ALL STALKING BEHAVIOR ASIDE... In light of a few recent conversations with various family members of my own, I felt this post needed to be added NOW, now, now so as to send a message or reiterate the sermon I most often preach of late to my family. Maybe this will make you all understand why I preach it so often.
The reason behind all my preaching is that the more if not most important thing in life is the love and time spent with family and friends and once that time has passed, you can never get it back.
I learned this valuable lesson in the most tragic way on Friday, February 25, 1994. A day anyone who knew J will never forget.
Since I'm mentioning everyone else that was/is important, leaving this person out really isn't an option since this person ~ in his short life ~ greatly impacted the person I am today. I've rarely mentioned this person since 1994 but have thought of often and I apologize in advance to anyone that is a family or friend of his that reads this and finds it upsetting to remember.
But I know J wouldn't mind me using his b-day dedication post in order to drive home my point if even to the break of their sanity.
Though I'm certain my family is really really fond of each other, we don't see each other NEAR enough. The regret will be overwhelming if we continue to let the busyness of everyday life keep us from seeing each other more than a few times a year (especially since we only live 3-5 miles apart). Boy... one or two of you are sure to think I'm speaking directly to you, but I'm not. I'm speaking to every last one us - myself included and both sides of the family.
So without further ado: January 27, 2010...to the memory of J who would have turned 31 on this day if he were still with us.
WHO:
Just like D, I grew up only remembering I'd always known him and just like D he made me smile every time I saw him. Actually more than not J made me laugh so hard it would bring me to tears. Even 16 years later remembering some of the things J did still makes me laugh it brings on the water.
There's no way the fun anyone felt in his presence can be explained. When I hear the phrase "they burned too bright for this world," it's really hard not to think about J. He was always up to something. It
seemed as if he burned with energy 24/7.
Not only do I remember J for his ability to make me smile, but his kind heart as well. One time we were all out in the woods riding 4-wheelers. When mine decided to give out, my brother (apparently already agitated at me (probably for insisting to go riding knowing my 4-wheeler was acting up) pretty much abandoned me.
The rest of them went on with their ride leaving me stranded and on my own to push the thing back home through muddy trails and what not. J is the only one that cut his fun short and came back to pull me home.
This was an extremely sweet thing to do and set him apart from the others because, well, being the only girl as I spoke of in the earlier post certainly didn't garner any special favors. Especially when you're kids. Being nice to the "girl" sometimes came with great scrutiny...
D eventually came back to help too but I'll never forget J being the ultimate hero. That's just one of the many times his sweet nature was ever lucent.
So what about the impact he made? Well, I could go on and on about the good ways J impacted my life and others and how thankful I am to have been able to know him at all. Knowing people like him is part of what made my childhood so wonderful. Even at a young age when he was still alive I realized he was a very special person.
But because he died so young, so sudden and without knowing just how much he was loved by everyone, his death also would impact my life tremendously. It showed me how important it was to ALWAYS express my gratitude or good feelings in general to everyone in my life with no abandon. I make it a habit to tell the people that are special to me exactly what they mean to me any time I get the opportunity.
If not for James, I think it's very safe to say I wouldn't be writing any of these posts.
If not for James I wouldn't have showed up at Cracker Barrel or Shoney's at the crack of dawn every Saturday morning for the last years of my Grandfather's life so we could have priceless conversations and truly get to know one another. (Though it goes without saying, I would have preferred it not taking the loss of a friend to know that).
However, this post of how important he was to me and everyone else who knew him is 16 years too late. If only I'd have known he'd be gone forever that horrible day I would have taken EVERY SINGLE opportunity to talk to him or sit by him in church even if it risked getting called out by the preacher for us cutting up. Though it was the norm for me to sit by James along with others, that Sunday before he was gone I looked at him when he waved me down to come sit in the usual spot and kindly declined for fear of getting in trouble like we had the week before all because I didn't know how to control my giggles. (typical teenage blonde I was - actually worse).
But it is the last time I'd get the opportunity to sit by J in church or see him at all and is astoundingly the worst regret I have.
The day he was gone I experienced what it was like for my world to stand still - painfully. It is the first time I realized that the earth truly is filled with sorrow and came to know and love the song
When We All Get To Heaven. Heaven, a place where there will be no more tears.
So I urge - no I beg you, remember those family or friends in you life that you've lost but would give anything to have one more conversation with - use it as motivation to go spend as much time with your family and friends that are still here. Always keep friends and family as number one on your "To-Do" list. Give them a great big hug and tell them you love them every chance you get. Even if they look at you all cockeyed. This may sound like an empty, cliche, even corny, if you will, warning. But I couldn't be more sincere.
May God bless James and all those who knew and loved him. One day he will rise from the Garden of the Good Shepherd when believers are all called home to be together again.
I am the Good Shepherd, and know my sheep, and am known of mine.
As the Father knoweth me, even so know I the Father... John 10:14-15
