I NEED The Network

I got so embarrassed last week I'm afraid to show my face in G-dale for quite a while.  It's not because my car went dead while changing lanes and it's not because an old man had to push us - while I steered, it's what came after.

"See what happened was"  my vehicle has a kill switch in the passenger floor board.  Yes, I said kill switch and no, I don't drive a bass boat.

I don't know why or what purpose it serves for the manufacturers to put a kill switch there or to have one at all but I'm always forgetting it's there and throwing Dax's diaper bag in the floorboard which knocks the plug out and completely kills my car.  Once this happens you have about one gas pedal pump left before the vehicle goes completely dead. 

Whose dumb enough to do this more than once a week?  and  Whose dumb enough not to learn how to reset kill switch after it happening over and over?  If you haven't caught on by now, the answer is  ME.

This happened while I was changing lanes during a red light.  I'd slung my Dax purse in the floor after getting him a cookie and bullseye!  Thank goodness the entrance to Race Track was 10' away from me when I hit the kill switch only problem was the car didn't quite make it there.  To make matters worse an old guy wasn't too happy with me since the light was green and I wasn't getting out of the way quick enough so he just lays into the horn and causes such a commotion that everyone in that packed intersection was staring at us.

However, again thank God and your many blessings, the car rolled into the parking lot, just very slowly.  Since I still had the bumper sticking out into on coming traffic an old guy comes and has to push me all the way in to safety.  Though I kept trying to tell him I had a kill "switch" in the floorboard he looked at me as if he were thinking "sure sure, it's okay honey... no need to be embarrassed"  -  he must of thought I'd ran out of gas and kept pushing me right up to a pump.  This of course got everyone's attention who were pumping gas.

I thank the man - over and over and over again - and then gather myself together amongst all the embarrassment and realize I need to call Clint and I better hope he's at home.  Since I don't have a cell phone - yep, you read right again (from a previous post I spank my child and now you know I don't carry a cell phone.  If you dare call me neanderthal, you might be right),   I don't have a cell phone.

I had the Network for 12 years and I got yelled at for not answering the thing more than the minutes I used - I hate cell phones.

Anywhose..so I go in to ask the gas/store attendant (whatever the politically correct name for the guy is)  "Sorry to bother you Sir, but is there a pay phone near by."  (I'm quitely mannerly)

He points it out and when I realize how far it is and due to the fact I'm holding Dax (who has no coat/hat on, because he wasn't supposed to ever gotten out of the car) I look at the man and ask him very nicely "I'll pay you if you let me use your phone, it's very cold and misty outside and he (Dax) has got an ear infection...may I please use your phone."  The little man looks at me and smugly says in his thicker than mud accent "so sorry - it hooked to internet"

[I think you all know where this is going -There are MANY things about me that I consider unpleasing or more to the point ~ugly~.  You hear the term "verbally abusive"...  "verbally annoying" or sometimes even  "verbally terrifying" fits me better.  When I'm mad at myself  (like I was for being in that position) I sometimes direct it at the person at hand (in this case:  smug gas attendant) and end up really embarrassing myself as if I hadn't done enough of that already. 

Me:  "so you don't have a phone??"

Smugness:  "No!"

Me:  "you don't have a phone to call out?"

Smugness:  "No, so sorry"

Me:  "So if you have an accident?  Like a crazed customer throws something at you and splits your head wide open, you don't have a phone to call 911 with??"  (I heard a gasp from a lady standing in the store when I said that)  ... I can't believe I actually said that... who says things like that while holding their child???  For my mom's sake or to save embarrassment from her.  Yes, she taught me better than this.  I'm just still a work in progress.

Smugest:  "NO!!!!"

Seeing that little man is feeling empowered by being able to tell a female holding an 17 mos old to go use the pay phone (which couldn't be any further away), I conceded and ran as fast as I could to use the phone to call Clint. 

FYI:  It costs 75 cents! to use a pay phone (which I'm sure no one does because you all are smart enough to carry cell phones) 

Thankfully Clint was at home and could be there in 5-10 short minutes - YAY we're saved!   But oh wait, the story's just beginning.

Still not the most embarrassing part yet...

Everyone in the parking lot that witnessed me having to be pushed now comes up to me offering cell phones - one sweet sweet woman tried more than once to give me money.  Just like the old man, she didn't believe I wasn't out of gas or that I didn't need help and folded a $20 up very small so she could pass it to me unsuspecting surely so as not to hurt my pride... So sweet, but I just as sweetly passed it back.

Since I'm waiting for Clint... I figured might as well get gas while I'm waiting on him so I walk back inside and give "Smugness" a $10 and tell him I'm on 2.  Get back out to my car and I wait .... and wait.... and I wait for little man to turn my pump on.  He never does so I have to get Dax back out of the car walk back inside and when I walk in the door the guy is leaning up against the counter eating a piece of pizza???!! 

Embarrassment Royale...

This is what happened next... or something like it...

From Miscellaneous

I now know how to reset the "kill switch"  which isn't a switch at all, it's a plug.  Still don't know why it's there though...

And if I'm going to teach Dax that it's not acceptable to throw tantrums, I'm definitely going to start practicing what I preach.