Hulk, Discipline and Happiness Economics? Not

St. Patty's Day, You'd think it just wouldn't be as fun as previous ones pre-kid.  Boy did I get that wrong. On St. Patty's Day we painted Dax green with homemade green body paint.  Head to toe.

So why did we do this?  Are we trying to teach Dax to be proud of his 1/8 Irish Heritage? 

Actually, I say 1/8 but who really knows...  I know we have definite Irish family names, features some not very far removed.  However, like most, we have almost equally English and I'm also aware of the very strong Dutch variety in our family. Heil Mutterland Swing Heil! (loved that movie).

Oh and let's not forget about my family's treasured American Indian heritage (just like everybody and their dog in the South who just like me has a great grandfather (GF) or great-great GF who was a Cherokee Chief...)  Actually in my case I seriously doubt he was a chief and I actually think he was a she - the stories get blurred.   ("he was a she" as in a great-great grandmother - not a drag queen).  But, this is just on my side. 

And Clint's family origins?  I'm going to go with Icelandic Vikings.  Yeah, that would be really cool.  Especially if Icelandic Vikings ever existed. Did, do they? I don... I'm pretty sure there were. 

Anyway! Why did we paint Dax green head to toe?  b/c he woke up and wanted to be Hulk for the day.  So, we painted him green and tore up a pair of shorts that already had a hole in it.  No pic.  But not to worry Grandmother, he'll want to be hulk again soon enough and I have just enough homemade green body paint left.

Then we built sandcastles. It must have been the hottest day this Winter.  He was a lovely mess so after all that he went for a swim and played with his pool toys in the bathtub arm swimees and all.  Thank GOODNESS all the body paint came off and didn't (as I seriously worried it would) leave my fair skinned lovely boy a light shade of green. Now that would have been the pic to take. Typical day school day or no.  I'm left exhausted and got nil yard work done. I didn't get anything chorely done matter of fact.  Oh, and look it's now time for dinner.  That's the way of it here lately.

It may sound like this child gets to do whatever he dreams up and maybe he does. I should maybe make a point to take on more of the mom role instead of co-conspirator. It's just such a shame to have to pass up on fun like that sometimes or in our case, outside of church and school, all the time. 

I mean my favorite preach is don't put something off for tomorrow that you can do today.  But I'm terrified of the hedonistic lifestyle that we live today.  In my opinion, it's one of many reasons for our downfall in society.

But what to do when find yourself saying "why not" instead of "not today ALL of the time?" Which is my thought process when Dax comes to me with these "fun" request. I think:  "Well, we got the stuff to do it, I could manage pull [X] off by doing [X], we're not off schedule... Why not?"

When you stop and think about the stuff he gets to do and, though this is horrible, compare the nos to the yeses and realize your rarely say no.  Let's face it grownups, we know that the world is not like that...  We may charge our credit cards up, put stuff off to the bitter end and go out of our way to keep ourselves smiling and happy.  In our minds, it's more like grabbing at the only bit of comfort and the infamous "me-time" we can get.  But that fiddler always wants what's due.  I'll not set him up for physical, tangible, infereal, mental, moral, whatever and etc... debt.  Or at least I can try my best.  But I find myself letting him and helping him do anything he dreams up for the day - like giving in to his "Charlie and Lola" role playing.

Chores.  Maybe that's it.  I think it's time for more chores.  Though he usually destroys the leaves if I can get him to rake them up or ends up wasting water by the gallon watering the limbs right above his head to create rain instead of the shrubs.  (I want to be 4 again!)   However it does kind of have a work 1st - play 2nd ring to it.  Doesn't it?

I think after reading this you don't have to be a psychiatrist to realize I'm already paranoid of how he'll turn out or ruining him to the point of total hedonism or just ruining him period.  Too paranoid.  Actually, so paranoid it's possible I'll end up ruining him worse than if I had just laid back and not worried so much. Oh dear, what to do with Teri.  A paranoid, not strict enough philosophical mom?  Pray. Pray pray pray pray - pray.  PRAY. 

Thank you for the Father, Son, and the Holy Ghost because if I didn't have all three I'd probably spontaneously combust.  Dax is a good, SWEET boy and he's incredibly smart (as most of our kids are - gotta be the prenatal vitamins these days).  And at least I'm not claiming he's demon possessed like some parents I know swear they're child is - yet.  So I should be happy.  For now at least. But all this brilliance also means he can and will fool you with his capabilities to get what he wants.  I remember before he was even born I said.  "There's no way Dax will get away with anything.  Because between me and Clint we did it all.  We are so going to be ahead of his game." ha ....HA! 

At 2 years old he had a milkshake.  A big one.  I told him that he couldn't have anymore until he finished his chicken.  A 2 yr old will not immediately stop asking for something / actually they'll probably cry when you take something they want away.  So I put it behind me on the step - on which I was sitting. I figured out of sight - out of mind.  He finally gave up and wanted to give me a hug (I ate this up and thought him so incredibly sweet).  While hugging me I finally noticed he was reaching for the milkshake. Sneaky little booger.  I had no idea what I'd be facing.

Here's another more of my point of how easily I get taken. (I realize this post keeps getting longer and seemingly pointless but bare with me:

The computer is a constant struggle so much so that today I seriously had to put my foot down.  Because if Dax sees me on the computer it immediately becomes a hassle of trying to tell him why he can only play games for a certain amount of time.  He wants it to play games on Disneyjr.com or Nickjr.com. 

It's really not much of a problem until I pick it up.  Yes I realize there are game consoles and etc. to keep him occupied but I'm not ready to go there and it wouldn't matter if I did.  It's not what Mama's doing, therefore he'd have no interest.  I finally told him if this continuous banter of begging and interruptions continued, which has gone on through this entire computer out pour, that he'd face serious corner time if he couldn't give me even 5 minutes of peace on the computer. 

So after about 2 minutes my SWEET SWEET child comes and sits by me and says "Mom, I'm sorry I argued with you, I'm not going to do that anymore and I won't interrupt constantly." words exact.  Turns me into mush immediately.  While I'm thinking "Oh you are just the sweetest soul, I could just die," he finishes his sentence.  "So you can let me play my game in a minute maybe?"  I so just got taken again.  FOUR!! 4 yrs old and a 1/2 if that makes much of a difference.  I'm not going to call my child a deviant even though it looks as if he's an angel face con, I know he means the love because he says it all the time even when there is nothing to gain, he just knows how to use it to his advantage if he wants something.  He's not learning this from me. I dare not say Clint. I'm totally blaming it on television.  Hey, it's everybody elses' scapegoat... j/k

It's obvious he must be kept occupied or he'll probably end up being a child deviant but I know that doesn't mean that I'm the one to keep him occupied every second of the day.  Which is actually the usual I've recently noticed.   I have got to teach him to occupy himself sometimes so I can take care of other responsibilities.  I'm failing at this miserably.  Probably because it bewilders me, I was so the opposite at his age.  Highly sociable like he is BUT welcomed alone time. Or at least that's how I remember it. 

Between learning his verses, practicing his spelling, learning early math he still has so much energy.  And this mom struggles with time.  So enter God, depart Teri's chaotic brain.  We wait to follow his direction.  We pray that it's filled with equal time w/ Dad and Mom instead of just one of us working and the other one raising.  We hope to one day consolidate business/work so that we can focus on Dax more and not less.   You know the thought of doing that sounds boring or more realistically maybe overbearing.  I say no.  he is the most important thing I will ever do in my life.  Everybody has their own God given purpose and he's ours.

(I say that hopefully without sounding like Norman Bates mother from the series when she's sitting in the boat with Norman, her son, before they throw Summers over the side)  I was flipping channels and landed on that part and it seriously gave me pause.

For now, I know I've got to learn to say no (sometimes of course) and let him learn to entertain himself no matter how much he pouts or what he says.  This child definitely knows what to say to pull your heart strings to giving in.  So teaching him to occupy himself is much easier said then done.  Until he starts all-day school that is.  Then he'll probably be too exhausted - maybe not.  That thought comes after watching the documentary (MUST SEE if you have school age children in public school - maybe even private school as well) The War on Kids.  I'll tell you about that another day.

Okay, enough with getting off the topic.  I never knew how hard discipline would be or deciding when or how to say no or yes.  Does anybody know where I'm coming from?  Am I a nutcase or a total nutcase?  I can say there's definitely an upside.  I never forget to pray.

At End Apology:  Sorry if my points that I try so hard to reach come across as random and hard to follow.  It's quiet the annoying symptom of what's called a scattered brain.   It's kind of like your brain not being able to keep up with your ... brain. Like a 10 tract mind if you will. Some people are highly insulted but you know sometimes the truth hurts and I am in fact at times a scattered brain.  But I own it  -  or at least try to.

I Want to Raise A Lover Not A Fighter

Since Dax barely spent time apart from me since the day he was born, the first couple weeks of K-4 was a nightmare!  He would cry from the time he got up and didn't stop until... well ... really not sure when he would stop (maybe after I was out the door?).

It was tough as every mom knows but a bit tougher on me because of my paranoia.  See,  for a while, I was under the impression that Dax was/is a bit of a weirdo different.  His vast vocabulary at such a young age and his disregard for boundaries of strangers (i.e. any time he sees another kid he walks straight up to them and talks to them as if he's known them all his life.  This includes going to sit at the table with them at Mickey D's as soon as we walk in the door.  He just walked right up to a complete table full of young girls he'd never met and took a seat with them).  It wasn't until I stayed in his Sunday School class one day that I realized that all 4 year olds are weirdos.  Yet the worry was still there because he's so vocal right off the bat that some kids would look at him with this blank stare not understanding what he was saying. Like they were thinking "new word alert"  who is this kid and what language is he speaking.

Though I still get the occasional "I want to stay with you" whine in the morning, things have settled into a good routine.  All seemed well.  That is until Dax's teacher walked him out to me when I picked him up and explained that he has been pushed down in the gym.  So hard that it did this to his face:

My first instinct (if the occasion arose again) is to teach Dax how to defend first but also how to push the kid back hard enough so he'd get the idea to never mess with him again.  Since Clint was sick when he got home from work he went  crawled straight to bed and never got a chance to address it.  Trying hard to think what God would want me to tell him to do.  I told him to keep an eye on him and if he saw him coming at him again, to plant his feet and when the guy goes to push him grab his arms and and push his arms down.  I know, I know.  LAME!! but I'm a girl.  Though I grew up the only girl in a neighborhood full of boys and held my own (please, like they were going to hurt me...)  haha.  I really don't know much about self defense.  I just know how to retaliate.  At the time I didn't want Dax doing that.  Until the next day he came home and he'd been pushed again.  That's it.  Advice changed this time. I told him Dax, if he pushes you again, I want you to push back and Mama's gonna show you how. I was so proud of what he said next. "but that's wrong" (I know what you're thinking - such a little mama's boy)... But I told him, no Dax, it's not wrong because you are defending yourself. He needs to know that you will be ready and willing to protect yourself by any means necessary if he means to do you harm (like what he did to his face) again.

 After talking to Dax for a little while longer, I found out that the Dax and the little boy are actually friends and that the other boy just gets too carried away.  I later talked to his teacher and she verified this  The boy and Dax like to play Power Rangers but the teacher said that person who shall remain nameless gets way too carried away  - often.

And to end on a good story, Dax's teacher verified what I said too (that all 4 year olds are weirdos, not just my son) and that Dax gets along famously with the other kids.   With the staff as well.  During the first week somehow Dax got into the wrong room and three teachers and receptionists were trying to figure out who he was and where he was supposed to go.  Teacher: what's you name?  Dax:  Superman.  Teacher: really, what's your name?  Dax:  Superman.  Other Teacher:  What's your real name?  Dax:  Clark Kent!  (they couldn't help but laugh at that)  after this went on for a while they finally asked him what his mama called him.  That's when he finally answered "My Name Is Dax"

For those of you wondering why I decided not to home school.  Though it was a gut wrenching decision and I hated to not be able to do it (for K4 only).  Our circumstances right now warranted him to be taught by others and the the fact that of all the interaction with children makes me feel very good about that decision.  So we put him in private school.

TIME FOR PAGE OVERHAUL

This I realize but right now I've got something in the works so it may be a while.  I'll update everyone when I get back into the blog swing.

Anyone There? Anyone?

Since you all are missing my random updates to the virtual scrapbook and have been checking back daily to see if I've left any posts...

...wait, you did realize I've been gone for a while?  Didn't you?  Surely you've missed us and wondered which side of the earth we might have fallen off. Maybe just once... or Maybe pondered for a second? even a nano second?  No?  Well, I've been gone from the computer world for quite some time now.  Ever since my computer got fried and refuses treatment, I've taken an indefinite hiatus from the keyboard until I find the perfect laptop.  I almost took advantage of some great sales on them, but then I thought Nah, maybe I'll just get into the giving spirit of Christmas and get Dax Christmas presents instead. Told old pots and pans are getting rusty. har har. 

No, seriously, there's like a huge list of heavy cool electronics we need and a laptop just isn't at the top of the list right now.  There's only so much you can buy while living in a one income family.  But I get to stay at home w/ Dax and there's not a laptop existing that could or ever will make up for that, soooo, until then I've been using my mom's computer every now and then to check emails.

Needless to say, there just isn't much time to get in the "zone"  - computer zone that is and type my fingers away until I've spilled every minute of our personal life not spent on the computer. 

So in a quick update, Clint is working hard as ever.  His employer even threw in a double shift one night with the the latter shift being a trip to Huntsville.  So he's in good health, but exhausted to say the least.   I'm doing pretty good, jolly as ever,  like - Santa Clause SIZE jolly.  I'm not breaking any scales yet, but let's just say it's time to get on the treadmill b/f my weight gets out of control.  Other than that I'm just plain peachy.

AND Dax, of course,  fun as ever.  He's got all his preschool "things to learn" out of the way except right now he just finishing up on learning to recognize the letters of the alphabet, he's been able to say them for some time now, but if he's able to pass the TERO alphabet flashcard scramble, he'll earn himself a brand new "Hiccup" toy he's been asking for (already bought b/c it was on sale).  (That's  Hiccup as in "How to Train Your Dragon" movie).  He's growing tall and his hair is still as curly as Shirley Temple's and shines like the moon.   He has the verbal skills of a 5 year old but not the comprehension of one.  So it's very tricky figuring out what he understands and what he doesn't.  He often fools us.  Of course not on purpose though.

So, that should do it for now.  With this parting sentence I'll leave you with an interesting photo.  I was digging through the desk drawers at my parents house (that occupies my childhood bedroom and found my last pager "BEEPER"    Wow, seems like so long ago when people carried these things it might as well be buried under ground along with the Cro-magnon man's remains. Lame analogy I know, but I'm tired and it's late.  And the best excuse of all   "I have a 3-yr old.

Nostalgia is flowing over me like a river right now.  ;o)

HAPPY NEW YEAR TO ALL AND TO ALL A GOOD NIGHT!

Like Father Like Son? or is it really Like Mother Like Son?

When Auburn kicked off this year Clint and I finally got a glimpse of the future that we'd (well Clint really) dreamed of.  Dax being his father's son - watching the game side by side with their Auburn shirts or jerseys on.  Jumping up and down with excitement over a good play.  You know how it made Clint feel.  It was special to me too just because I know that's the beginning of a special bond between them.  That Like Father Like Son feeling...

So, it's September and Auburn is playing Mississippi State and I was enjoying watching both of them jump up and down yelling GO BABY GO!  TOUCHDOWN AUBURN!  Dax had already been fond of his AU Jersey, his stuffed Aubie, his AU helmet and football, but now he was "beginning" to understand what all of it was for. It was a great day.

Fast forward to the present, October, by now, Auburn's lack luster season is getting annoying.  The cheese dip doesn't taste as good and Dax is starting to act more like his mom when it comes to Football.  Let me explain:

I love Auburn football.  I've always been an Auburn fan along with my brother with parents who are Alabama fans (long story).  I'm not the live for football, know all the stats and every player and position type and etc, but I had ALWAYS watched or listened to all the games, know the history pretty well, and get that euphoric feeling while visiting the campus, Toomer's Corner or attending home games.  You'd think that Clint and I would be a match made in football heaven wouldn't you?  Uh, wrong.  After spending 12-13 football seasons with Clint I'm much less of a fan and enjoy the games less than I did before.  
 
"But how could that be?  Is it because he's one of those obnoxious rival fans?"- you ask.
Absolutely not, we're a lot alike when it comes to that sort of thing.  He doesn't give a hoot about the rivalry and aside from lighthearted jokes here and there he doesn't banter w/ Tide fans.  He just has a love for football.   

"Well, then what's your problem?"
Lots of little things I guess, like for 1, I can get very nervous/serious and on the edge of my seat while watching the game with my heart racing when things go bad so I stay very quite except for touchdown time (of course!).  While Clint, on the other hand - the whole game-, paces, claps his hands constantly (he's got some big hands and they make a really loud ear piercing clap) never is quite, he's either in constant TV pep talk or hollering angrily at the players, coaches, commentators, man cheerleaders - when things aren't so well.  Watching the game with him/listening to all this makes me a nervous wreck.  So, since we've married if we're watching the games at home, I have to do this little dance of watching in a separate room while at times walking back and forth between the rooms at Clint's calmer moments - if there are any. A lot of times I have to shut the door and even that doesn't help.  I'm not dissing Clint, I'm really dissing myself.  I'm just not the GUNG HO fan that most SEC fans are.

Then, of course, there is this need to watch every game on TV, listen to Paul Finbaum (sp) ever second we're in the car and hogging the computer visiting au.com, rivals or any other site that is in the know about stats, recruits, team news and etc.  But the worst is planning our life around a game. i.e. 

Me: "Clint, guess what Mom and Dad have offered to take us on a all expense paid trip to Brazil!!"  Clint:  "No way, do you know how many games will miss and I seriously doubt they pick up the games in Brazil."  

Or another example:  

Me:  "So we're finally getting married, YAY, I was thinking of a Fall wedding, what do you think?"  Clint:  "Only if we get married Mon-Fri. or on a Sunday.  Don't forget Fall is football season..."

Okay, I'm exaggerating a little about the Brazil trip - a little but the "Can't get married on a Saturday in Fall" is totally true!  So, it's kind of taken the fun out of football season for me.  I still find myself giddy at times, but it's definitely become a "I can totally live without it" feeling.

So, there we were last Saturday watching Auburn get beat by LSU.  Dax was constantly running to me wanting to do something else because he wasn't just bored out of his mind, he was a bit upset.  Why wouldn't he be.  Clint was upset at the game and was vocalizing this at the TV.  Unknowingly he was in danger of breaking the father son football bond without realizing it.  Once I brought it to his attention, he stopped of course and made more of an effort to "act" happy.

I know, I know, Dax is only 3 and he's got so much more growing and learning to do when it comes to appreciating football but if he's personality is anything like mine, which sad to say he already shows many signs that it is, all it's going to take is a couple of bad memories and he's done.  Let's just hope it's w/ football and not with Auburn.  I mean, there's always baseball and soccer.  Though it really wouldn't bother me much if football didn't interest Dax it would, however, bother me if he becomes an Alabama fan. ha ha  Just kidding, of course.  But that would break Clint completely.  Seriously.  And I'd have to repaint his room too. That would be tragic. If you've seen his room, you'd agree.  But, if he did go BAMA it might serve Clint right for being so fanatical.

Until then, we'll just have to cross our fingers for more weekends like this one: